Dream On…
Remember when you were little and grown-ups seemed obsessed with asking, ‘what do you want to be when you grow up’…?
The answer usually came with ease and certainty. You were going to be a teacher, firefighter, ballerina, or veterinarian etc. It wasn’t a question of if or how, it was just a fact. Me? I was going to be an artist for Disney. Well, actually an orca whale trainer at Marine World for a hot second, but then definitely an artist! I was so sure that nothing could possibly stand in my way or dissuade me from that goal. My parents encouraged me to ‘follow my dreams’ and told me I could achieve anything I set my mind to (which I still love them every day for!). But the trouble with dreams, young dreams, is that they don’t necessarily allow for life’s inevitable hiccups.
I set about doing everything I could think of to get the head start I’d need for the journey: sketched my little heart out in grade school, took all the art classes available through Community College, went off to art school to earn my BS in Media Arts and Animation… but then life happened. After marrying the literal best man on the planet (#noregrets) and moving to a new city for his work, I suddenly found myself in a less than ideal location for ever landing that perfect studio job and needless to say, it was difficult.
I felt lost.
Letting a childhood dream fall by the wayside is never easy, let alone when you’re reaching thirty and watching all your friends settle into their successful, stable careers. I felt like a failure. As an artist I think it’s hard to not feel judged for what you do, especially if you don’t “make a living” at it. Let’s face it: being artistic just isn’t as important as being successful by society’s standards. While I don’t believe the two are mutually exclusive, the road to achieving both is pretty narrow and riddled with artists that are always going to be “better” than you. So what’s a girl supposed to do with that?
A couple years ago I decided I could either kill the dream completely, settling for security at the cost of passion, or I could give this freelancing thing a try. A real try. It may not be the smartest route, and it’s certainly not the most popular, but I’m lucky enough to have a partner who supports my ambition to make it happen! Going out on a limb takes courage. You have to try (in my case really hard!) not to care what people think, or listen to that inner voice forever saying ‘you’re not good enough’.
You’ll never know what could happen if you don’t go for it right?
So this is me going for it! As I navigate the mysterious waters of my own freelance business, I plan to use this space as a journal of sorts. I’ll be sharing all kinds of artwork both new and old, but also things like: travels, inspirations, the personal victories (as well as defeats), learning curves, and a good amount of introspection along the way. Welcome to my creative journey. I’m so glad you’re here and hope you’ll stick around for the ride!
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